Prompted by a friend…
June 22, 2008 — Ms. BeauchampYesterday as I was scrambling to quickly check emails, I glanced at my Google Reader and saw that a favorite blogger had posted a couple of new pieces…quickly I scanned them, then grabbed my computer and sat down to read them…I was drawn in to the darkness. In what felt like an instant, I was interrupted by screams, fighting, my 3 and 5 year old at it again. Who knows who did what to whom this time…I shut my screen and went to don my zebra stripes.
As a single mom, my days are filled with all sorts of adventure. (Code, I guess for stress, fun, frustration, amazement, occasional swearing, wonder and yes, more stress…) This day wasn’t any different. Nothing spectacular, more out of the ordinary than usual. You never can tell what a day will bring. Energy. It takes a lot of energy to keep up with my crew. I’m a happy positive person–that’s my nature. I’ve been described as strong, brave, courageous–also bitchy, stubborn and pushy…I prefer independent. As we went about the trips to the grocery store, stops at the park, eating lunch, having snacks, reading stories, wiping butts, and moping up spilled tadpoles, the darkness vision kept creeping back into my mind–time and time again. I just watched The Incredibles with my kids the other night and there is this one scene where Mr. Incredible is being held by ??? (the bad guy) and he gets trapped by these globs of black goo that keep shooting out from the walls…he fights them off over and over again until they finally pile up too quickly and cover him, growing into an oozy mess until from his perspective the lights go out–black–darkness. That image along with the writing I read played like a movie clip over and over in my head throughout the day. Why? I think that the struggle…this last year (or more) has brought–has been just like that vision at times…overwhelming. The way my friend described the darkness…it feels like that at times. Not knowing when it is going to stop. My worst times are at night…beaten by the day, the exhaustion of the bed time battle, my 15 trips up and down the stairs (I should be 20 pounds lighter!) then somehow sleep washes it away and when I wake it is lifted–and doesn’t return until sometimes…an hour, a day, a week…it all depends. I keep up with the battle. Most days…most nights too…it doesn’t get me…that black goo. It stays at bay, sometimes tugging at me heels, lapping at my knees, occasionally getting a hold of my wrist. I can handle those days. It is when it falls from above–and lands near my head first–enters my brain–that’s the most difficult to handle…getting inside my head.
I guess…the point? Good piece of writing. If it stuck with me all day and made me think…it must be good. He has far more talent than he gives himself credit for.
